Because stories, snuggles, and service were meant to go together.
Here is the best parenting advice I ever received: “Read with your child.”
What? Too obvious? Stick with me.
The man who shared this advice went on, of course. He was a librarian speaking to a group of parents while our toddlers learned silly songs and sifted through sensory bins. He spoke to us from the other side of the parenting divide: he had teenagers at home, a prospect that seemed eons away.
“Read with your child. Bedtime stories, of course, but also over breakfast, in waiting rooms, and on lazy Saturday mornings. Keep reading long after they learn to read to themselves. In fact, read with your child until they demand you stop, and maybe just a little longer.”
As a lifelong bibliophile, this was easy advice to absorb, and delightful to put into practice. And let me tell you, eons pass in the blink of an eye. I now have two teenagers of my own, both of whom retreated to their own reading routines around twelve or thirteen.
My youngest child is ten. We’re approaching the end of the age of bedtime stories. If I’m lucky, we’ll have a few more years to read aloud at the end of the day. We’ve just finished the latest in the delightful Pandava Series by Roshani Chokshi and picked up The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman, a hefty series that will sustain us for a while.
With every book, we find ourselves wondering together about why the characters make their choices. We imagine what we might do when faced with an impossible quest. And together, we miss the characters when the tale is done.
This reflection is where the magic of reading happens. Can there be any more direct exercise in empathy and compassion than sharing a good story and discussing it as you go?
The “magic” of reading happens when you wonder together. Try these conversation starters to start creative conversations.
The latest research on the benefits of a good book back up my observations:
Reading together creates a space for bigger conversations.
Sure, we discuss the book, but reading with kids as they grow gives them the opportunity to bring up otherwise unspoken concerns and challenges. Somehow, nagging questions and worries always seem to tumble out at the end of a chapter.Reading together strengthens physical and emotional connections.
Studies show that children whose parents make time to meaningfully connect in this way show greater social and emotional development, including more resilience to stress, greater life satisfaction, and better mental health. Plus, this connection offers a foundation for good communication as your child becomes a teenager and grows increasingly independent.Reading together increases compassion.
Emerging research demonstrates it’s not that empathetic people are drawn to reading. Reading fiction actually trains the mind to think with more compassion.Reading together leads to stronger academic skills.
Educators often talk about how many more words a preschooler hears if they are read to on a daily basis. Extrapolate this daily reading to include increasingly nuanced fiction over the course of a decade or more. Imagine the words, ideas, emotions, different lifestyles, and questions about what it takes to live a meaningful life. Plus, according to the researchers, reading for pleasure is a more powerful force for future success than class, family earnings, and level of parental education.
This is what happens when you make time to read widely and discuss the big ideas that come out of each story.
On top of all of these empirical reasons to nurture bookish traditions, there is one more big-hearted benefit.
Making ritualized time to read and wonder together offers a comforting oasis in an often chaotic world, for both children and parents.
At my house, these end-of-day moments become the reward we all look forward to, rather than one more thing to cross off the to-do list.
To make getting started easier for your family, we at Doing Good Together have added several bookish acts of service to our Pick-a-Project collection, featured below. I hope you’ll explore them with your family and consider starting or reinventing your own family book club as you share book love with others, now and in the months and years to come.
Choose a project below to get started.
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The recommendations we offer are based solely on our mission to empower parents to raise children who care and contribute.